TRIBUNE COLUMN
Youth sports report card issues grades that should scare parents

By TONY MESSENGER

Published Thursday, November 17, 2005

If I’m honest with myself, the 2005 Youth Sports National Report Card would have failed me in the most important category. I wouldn’t be alone. Parents all over the nation failed to receive a passing grade in a category called "child-centered philosophy."

The national report card is an effort by the Citizenship Through Sports Alliance to bring attention to our country’s dangerous obsession with the professionalization of youth sports. Its report card, out this month, graded five areas of youth sports. Only one area received so much as a B minus. Two areas received Ds. It’s not a pretty picture.

The report card should cause us all to think hard about our place in youth sports, whether we’re parents, coaches, officials or just plain kids. It’s an area of concern that has been a particular focus of mine since I read Bob Bigelow’s book, "Just Let the Kids Play." The book is an eye-opener to what we are sometimes doing to our kids, even when we think we’re just helping them along as they learn about competition and develop skills in various sports. Bigelow isn’t some Ivy League do-gooder hiding behind the veil of academia. He’s a former professional basketball player. He plays to win. It’s why he and his cohorts, including University of Missouri-Columbia law Professor Doug Abrams, aren’t giving up in their attempts to raise the national consciousness about how we interact with our children who play sports.

My consciousness was raised to a new level several months ago when I talked to my daughter about playing high school soccer.

All of my children have played sports from a young age. My daughter had played soccer from the time she was 6 or 7 years old. At first, she struggled, then later discovered her stride and found herself playing competitive soccer. When she went to high school, I assumed the soccer playing would continue. It did, at least at first.

At some point during her sophomore year, we talked about her experience. I don’t remember what spurred the discussion, but I asked my daughter a question I had never bothered to ask any of my children.

Why do you play?

I play, she said in so many words, because of you.

It’s the kind of answer that on one level lifts a father’s heart to a heavenly level, the thought that one of your teenagers would spend so much time and energy doing something to bring you joy. My daughter was telling me that she knew how much I enjoyed watching her play soccer. She knew how much our family was structured around the Saturday-at-the-park mentality. The answer lifted my spirits until I realized what it truly meant.

She wasn’t playing for fun. She wasn’t playing for herself. She wasn’t playing for team or experience.

She was playing for me.

Too many young athletes do exactly that, according to the youth sports report card. It’s why the alliance gave a D to "child-centered philosophy." It also gave a D to "parent behavior/involvement," which focuses not only on high profile cases of out-of-control parents but also those well-meaning parents whose involvement becomes almost an obsession and takes away from the child’s enjoyment of sports for sports’ sake.

Among the report card’s findings:

"The panel is greatly concerned that, on the whole, youth sports has:

● Lost its child-centered focus, meaning less emphasis on the child’s experience and more emphasis on adult-centered motives, such as winning.

● Suffered from the actions of over-invested sports parents who maintain unrealistic expectations and fail to behave in a way that promotes the development of their own child and others.

● Failed to provide sufficient background checks, training and evaluations for coaches, who are so instrumental in the youth sports experience.

● Focused on early sports specialization, leading to burnout, overuse injuries and a hyper-competitive atmosphere focused on travel team participation at an ever-younger age.

● Lost the voice of the child who is participating in sports for his or her own goals, which experts say include fun, friends, fitness and skill development."

For those of us involved in youth sports, looking at what we do and why we do it is a tough exercise. We think the problems are elsewhere. We’re proud of our involvement. We think we have excellent coaches. We think we have all the answers.

Sometimes, we haven’t even asked the right questions.

My daughter chose not to play soccer this year, and I’m proud of her. It’s her decision. She should make it.

When’s the last time you asked your child why he or she plays?

Do it today. The answer might surprise you.

Tony Messenger is a columnist at the Tribune. His column appears on Sunday and Tuesday through Thursday. He can be reached at 815-1728 or by e-mail at tmessenger@tribmail.com.

© 2005 Columbia (Mo.) Tribune, all rights reserved. Used with permission.